Controlling the fall

March 19, 2018

Every Tuesday night, when I went running with our running club, I’d always imagine falling over. 

I’d trip up a kerb, or run into railings, or fall down a hill. I’d imagine scenarios where I’d knock myself out and wonder what the others would do. Would someone call 999? Would they knock on a neighbour’s door and ask for help? Would I be dead? If Ryan was there, would he have a panic attack? Would he pick me up and run with me back to the car? How bad would my injuries be? Would my bone be sticking out, would I have a head injury? When would I wake up? On the ground, in hospital? Days, weeks later? Would I ever run again? 

Would tonight be the night that I fall?


The February Edition

February 28, 2018


I refuse to let the intro to these Editions turn into alternations of: BOY THAT WAS A LONG MONTH and HOW IS IT *insert next month here* TOMORROW?!

*bites fist* 

What I will say is: cold. Wow, so cold. Snow. SO MUCH SNOW. Minus temperatures. MARCH TOMORROW. MINUS SIX TODAY. MARCH.

Despite the cold, February was full of stuff. Quite big stuff. Until you really reflect on a month, you don’t realise how much you can do, and how much things can change. I always wish away the first few months of a year to get to the warmth and holidays (like we all do, right?) but I… won’t do that now. As much, anyway…


Legal damages

February 23, 2018

18, one week before

(This post details abuse and is of a graphic nature. Please take care. This is for every person with an experience that doesn’t fit the definitions or the moulds or society’s narrative. This is for every confusing experience with eternal damage. This is for the not-so-bads. This is for the wise and vulnerable. You’re brave and valid. Believe me.)


The January Edition

January 31, 2018

Last year I had my little nerdy document that detailed everything I watched and read, and every place I went to, in each month. There was little point to this, other than a interest in how much I was consuming and how many new places I was visiting in any given month.

I like having no-pressure, not-unachievable personal projects to keep me going throughout the year. I get bored and I can’t sit still, so here we are with this year’s project: round-up-of-the-month blog posts. Spoiler: I’ve just got myself a shiny new full-time job, so I figured doing this would make me still regularly blog, otherwise that’ll fall off the wagon and I’ll be pissed off at myself.



Budapest, Hungary (September 2017)

January 11, 2018

The first note in my phone for Budapest says, “THE DANUBE SMELLS LIKE CUCUMBER?!”, so this should be interesting.

When I fell in love with Prague and proceeded to tell everyone that I was in love with Prague, people suggested we went to Budapest next because it was like a bigger Prague. I was on board with that, so Budapest it was. 

The only worry I had with Budapest was its size. It's two cities, Buda and Pest, put together. So I imagined it was quite overwhelming and I get overwhelmed very easily and I didn't want to be stressed and anxious and without a plan and have too much to do aND TOO MANY THINGS TO SEE AND WHAT IF WE DIDN’T HAVE ENOUGH TIME HOW WERE WE MEANT TO PRIORITISE WHAT IF IT WAS TOO BUSY AND EXPENSIVE AND, etc.