life

The July Edition

July 31, 2018

Botany Bay

I need to write this quickly before the laptop melts my already thick-with-sweat thighs in this relentless heatwave.

mental health

Spare change

July 15, 2018


The last six months in my head looked a bit like this:

“THIS IS IT. THIS IS THE NEW JOB I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR. I DID IT. WHAT A CLEVER LITTLE SAUSAGE I AM.”

“I can’t wait to leave this job and start my new one. Everything is looking up.”

“They’re gonna love me. They’re lucky to have me. I have so many ideas and I’m quite literally gonna save lives sharing them.”

“What if they don’t?”

life

The June Edition

June 30, 2018


The handy thing about doing these posts is moaning about how tired I am, then writing all this up and thinking, “Oh wait that’s why.”

travel

Amsterdam, The Netherlands (April 2018)

June 21, 2018


When I first suggested to Mum that we went away for a city break again, after Salzburg last year, we couldn’t think of anywhere we both really wanted to go together. After much consideration of Dublin (too much Guinness) and Copenhagen (too much money), I suggested getting high and getting selfies with dildos in Amsterdam. 

It was settled. Amsterdam.

life

The May Edition

May 31, 2018



May was lovely but it would have been better if I did a lot less crying…

running

A beginner's running haul

May 20, 2018


For my first ever run, I went out in a standard bra, knitted t-shirt, denim shorts, and plimsolls from Primark. 

Deciding you want to try and run is a big deal for a lot of people. Running is hard. It’s a totally different way to use your body. You use parts of your body you didn’t even know existed, and your body and mind have to work together. Part of your body and mind working together is your mind making a lot of decisions about where to run, how to run, and what to wear and use as a runner, and that’s overwhelming. 

Believe it or not, my running debut combination did the job. I didn’t die. I didn’t blister to pieces. I wore t-shirts and denim shorts and plimsolls for the first few weeks of Couch to 5k and it did me no harm. Running is running no matter what you wear.

BUT…

life

The April Edition

April 30, 2018

Grace with her shiny award!

I know I said the rain and snow and cold was miserable, but that short burst of intense sun was unncessary, ok? 

April was busy and I am tired. So, so tired.

travel

Brussels, Belgium (February 2018)

April 21, 2018


When I nabbed my new job at the start of this year, I told myself i was going to take a week off between leaving The Mix and starting at Anthony Nolan to chill. I was going to rest and have baths and read and go for walks and have lie ins and clean the bathroom while humming along to Spotify.

And then, suddenly, I’d booked return Eurostar tickets to Brussels for the Wednesday.

life

The March Edition

March 31, 2018

This year's obligatory Mother's Day photo for social media

March has always been a pretty non-eventful month for me. November, too. March and November are usually *shrugs*. Was this March non-eventful? Haha. Hahaha. Ha. 

Aside from the fall, which I’ve already blogged about so won’t bore you with more details, a lot of other stuff happened. Good and bad. The bad is that an old family friend died, my auntie had a brain tumour removed (bad that she had it, good that she could have it removed), and both Ryan and I were in hospital/the doctors’, a few times a week. 

The good is that my little cousin had her baby. 

We came full circle.

running

Controlling the fall

March 19, 2018


Every Tuesday night, when I went running with our running club, I’d always imagine falling over. 

I’d trip up a kerb, or run into railings, or fall down a hill. I’d imagine scenarios where I’d knock myself out and wonder what the others would do. Would someone call 999? Would they knock on a neighbour’s door and ask for help? Would I be dead? If Ryan was there, would he have a panic attack? Would he pick me up and run with me back to the car? How bad would my injuries be? Would my bone be sticking out, would I have a head injury? When would I wake up? On the ground, in hospital? Days, weeks later? Would I ever run again? 

Would tonight be the night that I fall?

life

The February Edition

February 28, 2018

SNOWIN'ELL

I refuse to let the intro to these Editions turn into alternations of: BOY THAT WAS A LONG MONTH and HOW IS IT *insert next month here* TOMORROW?!

*bites fist* 

What I will say is: cold. Wow, so cold. Snow. SO MUCH SNOW. Minus temperatures. MARCH TOMORROW. MINUS SIX TODAY. MARCH.

Despite the cold, February was full of stuff. Quite big stuff. Until you really reflect on a month, you don’t realise how much you can do, and how much things can change. I always wish away the first few months of a year to get to the warmth and holidays (like we all do, right?) but I… won’t do that now. As much, anyway…

life

Legal damages

February 23, 2018

18, one week before

(This post details abuse and is of a graphic nature. Please take care. This is for every person with an experience that doesn’t fit the definitions or the moulds or society’s narrative. This is for every confusing experience with eternal damage. This is for the not-so-bads. This is for the wise and vulnerable. You’re brave and valid. Believe me.)

life

The January Edition

January 31, 2018


Last year I had my little nerdy document that detailed everything I watched and read, and every place I went to, in each month. There was little point to this, other than a interest in how much I was consuming and how many new places I was visiting in any given month.

I like having no-pressure, not-unachievable personal projects to keep me going throughout the year. I get bored and I can’t sit still, so here we are with this year’s project: round-up-of-the-month blog posts. Spoiler: I’ve just got myself a shiny new full-time job, so I figured doing this would make me still regularly blog, otherwise that’ll fall off the wagon and I’ll be pissed off at myself.

ANYWAY ENOUGH CONTEXT HERE'S WHAT I DID IN JANUARY OK

travel

Budapest, Hungary (September 2017)

January 11, 2018


The first note in my phone for Budapest says, “THE DANUBE SMELLS LIKE CUCUMBER?!”, so this should be interesting.

When I fell in love with Prague and proceeded to tell everyone that I was in love with Prague, people suggested we went to Budapest next because it was like a bigger Prague. I was on board with that, so Budapest it was. 

The only worry I had with Budapest was its size. It's two cities, Buda and Pest, put together. So I imagined it was quite overwhelming and I get overwhelmed very easily and I didn't want to be stressed and anxious and without a plan and have too much to do aND TOO MANY THINGS TO SEE AND WHAT IF WE DIDN’T HAVE ENOUGH TIME HOW WERE WE MEANT TO PRIORITISE WHAT IF IT WAS TOO BUSY AND EXPENSIVE AND, etc.