"I want to put my dead relatives in a drawer"

June 17, 2010

Today I had possibly the funniest conversation EVER with my hairdresser.
I shall explain.
I was getting my prom hair trial run...thing...for next Friday, when mum brought up the subject of her dead Grandad, and if she'd decided to do anything yet. Now, not hearing the previous conversation about this seemingly delicate issue, I thought it was incredibly risky and quite depressing of my mum to bring this up. 
However, I present to you the conversation that took place...

Mum: Oh yeah have you decided what to do with your Grandad yet?

Hairdresser: Nope. He's still in my house, but he's been promoted to the windowsill cos he likes the sun.

Mum: Well as long as he doesn't fall off.

Me: *raises eyebrows*

H: I like him there! I love having him with me. It's not weird. It's not.

Mum: LOL

Me: *where the eff is this going...*

H: My worst fear ever is being left alone, like, not if the kids go out. But I could never live on my own, and the thought of being BURIED. ALONE. Urgh it makes me feel ILL. Just keep me somewhere until someone else pops their clogs and shove me in with them for God's sake. 

Mum: LOLSQUARED

H: It's like, my Uncle died when I was preggers and my Aunt was totally on her own, so I went up there for a couple of weeks and managed to persuade her to keep him. I mean that caused an uproar from the rest of the family but we won the argument. And six year's later she still had 'im! He came to Christmases and everything. Brought him down in a Sainsbury's bag, we all said hello to him. Another relative died though and he was buried, so at the funeral we sneaked him in, sitting by his feet he is.

Mum: *inconsolable laughing*

Me: *laughs and nearly has ears sliced*

H: I know it sounds mad! But I like things like that, what I want is to collect all my relatives and put them all in a drawer in my bedroom, so I can say hello to them every day.

Me: You could take them all on holiday, shove them in a suitcase. They can all have a sunlounger each. "Ooh Nan you're looking a bit burnt..."

All three of us: ROFLMAOLOLCUBEDX10TOTHEPOWEROFINFINITYETCETC... 

FIN.

X

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