30 Jun 2018

The June Edition

The handy thing about doing these posts is moaning about how tired I am, then writing all this up and thinking, “Oh wait that’s why.”

What I did

I went back on my meds this month and I’ve felt SO much better for it (bar the last few days where I’ve felt incredible lonely and a boring, useless, hated piece of shit…). I didn’t realise how much I needed them. You can be as self-aware about your mental health as you like, but sometimes you just don’t realise how not normal some thoughts and behaviours are until you get some external intervention. 

I took part in my first donor recruitment event with Anthony Nolan! I’ve signed up countless people online, but doing it in person felt different and real and I got very excited.

I felt very inadequate at Ryan’s work for a fancy history talk and drinks with his colleagues, then went and had a crackin’ curry surrounded by cricket fans. 

I took myself out for dinner (Franco Manca - TWO courses) because I deserved it.

I celebrated Grace’s stable brain tumour with many cocktails and a Co-op pizza, after going to a BBQ in Surrey with old work pals.

What are we, 14?

I went to my first proper CharityComms day. CharityComms holds events for people in, um, charity communications. Like me. They’re really fun and fascinating and full of food. You meet so many people from other charities, listen to some cool talks, take part in workshops, and eat a lot of food. Did I mention the food?

What I thought 

I really didn’t want to go back on my meds. I tricked myself into making the appointment and was in denial until I walked into my GP’s room. It felt like I was going backwards. I didn’t want to be back there again. I didn’t want to spend the money and I didn’t want the side effects and I didn’t want to put on weight. I didn’t want to have to rely on something else for my happiness again. BUT. This is how life works. Sometimes you need the extra help and it’s not forever, and better the meds than feeling like shite, right? Right.  

I miss my old work pals. I met up with quite a few of them this month in various contexts and it was the loveliest. I didn’t think I’d miss them this much and I’m realising that I took their friendship and company for granted when I worked with them. They really helped to shape who I am, as wanky as that sounds. Anyway. It’s really nice to still be in touch and tell them all about my new work and friends, like a kid at a new school.

Where I went

To a lot of Slug & Lettuces. There is no meaning behind this, I just went to a lot of them by coincidence. I had a pancake shot one night. That was interesting.


We went to Las Iguanas with Jake, my mum and my brother and WHEN did Las Iguanas get so expensive, pls???

Krakow! That’s for another post.

We FINALLY went to the Street Feast Model Market in Lewisham one Friday night for food and cocktails with Ash and Ben. It was so hipster and expensive but we loved it and can’t believe it’s right around the corner from us. 


TO BUY SOME NEW TRAINERS. I love them. They’re the model up from the Saucony 9s I had, and they’re so comfy and bouncy and supportive.

Saucony Ride 10

We went back to Lewisham for a date night (yes, really) at Sparrow. It looks nothing special from the outside and is in a pretty rubbish location, but it’s so popular and you have to book. They do sharing plates, a bit like tapas, but the plates really vary in price and size and type. It’s hard to explain. But it’s nice and worth it for a date night. The staff are really nice too.

Looks like a shithole, I know

We did Kraków, Clapham Common (Jake's first!), Dartford Heath, Victoria Dock and Roundshaw Downs parkruns. Victoria Dock was cool, by the Emirates Airline, and is PB territory. We were both so close… let’s blame the sun.

 Victoria Dock

 parkrun Kraków 

Clapham Common parkrun

What I read

I’m reading The Lifechanging Magic of Not Giving a Fuck by Sarah Knight and it’s great. Obviously. 

I read this article by Marisa Bate on being too busy, and Rosa Hesmondhalgh has continued to document her cancer journey in the most real, funny, and beautiful way.

What I watched

The World Cup. I’m as surprised as you are. 

We finally watched Coco. What a gorgeous film!

Like everyone else, we watched The Staircase. He didn’t do it. Even if he did, I don’t care. He’s great. 

I went to see Carrie in Heathers. It was SO GOOD. Unexpectedly so. The whole cast is fantastic and Carrie was a DREAM. You know when you watch your friends doing great things and can see how happy and proud they are of themselves, and it makes you BEAM? That.


It was a good month for talented friends as we saw our friend Adam (who does the funniest series of videos on Insta I've seen - Actors Go To The Shittest Places) in Libby’s Eyes, a play written by Ryan’s friend Amy about being visually impaired in a modern world and the injustice of the benefits system. It was smart and poignant and funny and so down to earth.

What I was thankful for

Antidepressants. Sweet, sweet drugs. 

My confidence to put my hair up for work in this heat because usually that’s reserved strictly for running, but I’m not about that matted-hair-stuck-to-my-neck life.

Roasted veg with couscous and feta for my lunches at work. Why didn’t I do this earlier? It’s so good. I give it another week before I overdo it and get sick of it.

I hope July is happy.

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