31 Dec 2018

The December Edition

I’ve just had so much cheese that my heart is racing. All I want to do is nap, but I will write this final monthly blog post if it kills me, so I’ve locked myself in my childhood bedroom instead. Merry Christmas.

19 Dec 2018

20 running goals for 2019 that are nothing to do with, like, actual running

Hey look what a lovely obviously unposed photo this is of me blissfully looking into 2019

It can be easy to reduce your ‘next year goals’ as a runner to: be better. Be faster, be fitter, be slimmer, run more, run further, run b e t t e r. 

Yeah, I’d love a sub 27min 5k. I’d love a sub 55min 10k and a sub 2hr half marathon. I’d love a sub 5hr marathon. I’d love to do an Ultra… wait, what, who said that? Idk, I didn’t say anything…

Here are 20 goals that aren’t to do with being a better runner. Here are 20 goals that are to do with better experiences.

30 Nov 2018

The November Edition

I have a cold. I’m so snotty that I can feel it in my eyes. Happy Winter.

19 Nov 2018

Kraków, Poland (June 2018)

The look Ryan gave me when I said I’d already been to Auschwitz so wasn’t that keen on going again was akin to him watching me kick a puppy. A tiny one. A tiny, fluffy one with a lazy eye and a limp.

We were going to Auschwitz for Ryan’s birthday.

31 Oct 2018

The October Edition

September 30th: I’m thankful for my recent ability to realise when I’m on my way to burning out and pulling back a bit… still working on the ‘pulling back a bit’.

Hahahaha. Haha. Ha.

I fitted about four months into one in October. Why am I like this.

21 Oct 2018

A tale of two halves

After I finished bossed smashed annihilated the Cardiff Half at the beginning of October, I banged on quite a bit about how I’d knocked 17 minutes off my half marathon PB, and how I’d bludgeoned with a metaphorical hammer a whole 42 minutes off my first ever half marathon time, almost two years ago to the day. 2:48 to 2:06.

I could continue to bang on about how far I’ve come in those two years, but I won’t. TL;DR: I’ve come far and done fucking well. Fin.

This tale isn’t about those two halves. This is about the Cardiff Half, and the half marathon I was meant to do in March this year: the Brentwood Half. Spoiler: I didn't do it.

30 Sept 2018

The September Edition

I’ve been wearing jeans for a week and I’ve already split a pair. Happy Autumn.

20 Sept 2018

25 things I unapologetically don't give a fuck about now I’m 25

Me, not giving a fuck about the Camp Nou tour in Barcelona, but accepting the fact that Ryan did give a monumental fuck

Hello. I am 25 years old now. And to celebrate turning 25, here is a list of 25 things I am boldly, unashamedly, confidently willing to share that I unapologetically don’t give a fuck about. Because I am 25 and don’t have the time, effort, or care to pretend. It’s ok to not give a fuck about stuff.

31 Aug 2018

The August Edition

Frank's Cafe, Peckham

Guys, it’s under 20C, we are blessed.

23 Aug 2018

Revere the smear

This has nothing to do with smears, I just like alpacas.

I’m going to tell you the story of my first ever smear test.

Spoiler: it was fine. 

SCIENCE TIME: A smear test is when a nurse opens your vagina with a metal thing, then puts a big cotton bud up there and wipes it on your cervix to collect cells, then sends those cells off to be tested for cervical cancer (or anything that could turn into cervical cancer).

I’m sure that’s how science describes a smear test.

31 Jul 2018

The July Edition

Botany Bay

I need to write this quickly before the laptop melts my already thick-with-sweat thighs in this relentless heatwave.

15 Jul 2018

Spare change

The last six months in my head looked a bit like this:


“I can’t wait to leave this job and start my new one. Everything is looking up.”

“They’re gonna love me. They’re lucky to have me. I have so many ideas and I’m quite literally gonna save lives sharing them.”

“What if they don’t?”

30 Jun 2018

The June Edition

The handy thing about doing these posts is moaning about how tired I am, then writing all this up and thinking, “Oh wait that’s why.”

21 Jun 2018

Amsterdam, The Netherlands (April 2018)

When I first suggested to Mum that we went away for a city break again, after Salzburg last year, we couldn’t think of anywhere we both really wanted to go together. After much consideration of Dublin (too much Guinness) and Copenhagen (too much money), I suggested getting high and getting selfies with dildos in Amsterdam. 

It was settled. Amsterdam.

31 May 2018

The May Edition

May was lovely but it would have been better if I did a lot less crying…

20 May 2018

A beginner's running haul

For my first ever run, I went out in a standard bra, knitted t-shirt, denim shorts, and plimsolls from Primark. 

Deciding you want to try and run is a big deal for a lot of people. Running is hard. It’s a totally different way to use your body. You use parts of your body you didn’t even know existed, and your body and mind have to work together. Part of your body and mind working together is your mind making a lot of decisions about where to run, how to run, and what to wear and use as a runner, and that’s overwhelming. 

Believe it or not, my running debut combination did the job. I didn’t die. I didn’t blister to pieces. I wore t-shirts and denim shorts and plimsolls for the first few weeks of Couch to 5k and it did me no harm. Running is running no matter what you wear.


30 Apr 2018

The April Edition

Grace with her shiny award!

I know I said the rain and snow and cold was miserable, but that short burst of intense sun was unncessary, ok? 

April was busy and I am tired. So, so tired.

21 Apr 2018

Brussels, Belgium (February 2018)

When I nabbed my new job at the start of this year, I told myself i was going to take a week off between leaving The Mix and starting at Anthony Nolan to chill. I was going to rest and have baths and read and go for walks and have lie ins and clean the bathroom while humming along to Spotify.

And then, suddenly, I’d booked return Eurostar tickets to Brussels for the Wednesday.

31 Mar 2018

The March Edition

This year's obligatory Mother's Day photo for social media

March has always been a pretty non-eventful month for me. November, too. March and November are usually *shrugs*. Was this March non-eventful? Haha. Hahaha. Ha. 

Aside from the fall, which I’ve already blogged about so won’t bore you with more details, a lot of other stuff happened. Good and bad. The bad is that an old family friend died, my auntie had a brain tumour removed (bad that she had it, good that she could have it removed), and both Ryan and I were in hospital/the doctors’, a few times a week. 

The good is that my little cousin had her baby. 

We came full circle.

19 Mar 2018

Controlling the fall

Every Tuesday night, when I went running with our running club, I’d always imagine falling over. 

I’d trip up a kerb, or run into railings, or fall down a hill. I’d imagine scenarios where I’d knock myself out and wonder what the others would do. Would someone call 999? Would they knock on a neighbour’s door and ask for help? Would I be dead? If Ryan was there, would he have a panic attack? Would he pick me up and run with me back to the car? How bad would my injuries be? Would my bone be sticking out, would I have a head injury? When would I wake up? On the ground, in hospital? Days, weeks later? Would I ever run again? 

Would tonight be the night that I fall?

28 Feb 2018

The February Edition


I refuse to let the intro to these Editions turn into alternations of: BOY THAT WAS A LONG MONTH and HOW IS IT *insert next month here* TOMORROW?!

*bites fist* 

What I will say is: cold. Wow, so cold. Snow. SO MUCH SNOW. Minus temperatures. MARCH TOMORROW. MINUS SIX TODAY. MARCH.

Despite the cold, February was full of stuff. Quite big stuff. Until you really reflect on a month, you don’t realise how much you can do, and how much things can change. I always wish away the first few months of a year to get to the warmth and holidays (like we all do, right?) but I… won’t do that now. As much, anyway…

23 Feb 2018

Legal damages

18, one week before

(This post details abuse and is of a graphic nature. Please take care. This is for every person with an experience that doesn’t fit the definitions or the moulds or society’s narrative. This is for every confusing experience with eternal damage. This is for the not-so-bads. This is for the wise and vulnerable. You’re brave and valid. Believe me.)

31 Jan 2018

The January Edition

Last year I had my little nerdy document that detailed everything I watched and read, and every place I went to, in each month. There was little point to this, other than a interest in how much I was consuming and how many new places I was visiting in any given month.

I like having no-pressure, not-unachievable personal projects to keep me going throughout the year. I get bored and I can’t sit still, so here we are with this year’s project: round-up-of-the-month blog posts. Spoiler: I’ve just got myself a shiny new full-time job, so I figured doing this would make me still regularly blog, otherwise that’ll fall off the wagon and I’ll be pissed off at myself.


11 Jan 2018

Budapest, Hungary (September 2017)

The first note in my phone for Budapest says, “THE DANUBE SMELLS LIKE CUCUMBER?!”, so this should be interesting.

When I fell in love with Prague and proceeded to tell everyone that I was in love with Prague, people suggested we went to Budapest next because it was like a bigger Prague. I was on board with that, so Budapest it was. 

The only worry I had with Budapest was its size. It's two cities, Buda and Pest, put together. So I imagined it was quite overwhelming and I get overwhelmed very easily and I didn't want to be stressed and anxious and without a plan and have too much to do aND TOO MANY THINGS TO SEE AND WHAT IF WE DIDN’T HAVE ENOUGH TIME HOW WERE WE MEANT TO PRIORITISE WHAT IF IT WAS TOO BUSY AND EXPENSIVE AND, etc.