28 May 2011

Body malfunction

My last post was my 100th and I've only just bloody realised. I'm almost as disappointed as when I typed the unforgivable 'your' instead of 'you're' in my well thought out 37,000th tweet. Devastating and I will never forgive myself.

Next week is going to be the mentalist week of my life. I'm in London the whole week at HarperCollins, and other stuff is happening which I won't go into. But basically, there is a high chance that I'll explode. I don't get stressed about stuff, usually. I worry a lot. But I don't stress about exams or having lots to do or being late etc. Well, on the outside I don't. You know I get heart palpitations right? The tests I had for them all came back fine, meaning the reason I get them is because of stress. At first I refused to believe it but now I realise that I do get stressed, but I deny it and tell myself that everything is fine. I do feel physically fine. But inside me I imagine there are lots of little people running around on BlackBerries, dropping paperwork everywhere, arguing with each other and trying to push through crowds. I just don't realise they're there.

The heart palpitations being stress related was pretty much confirmed this week when my heart kept spazzing out, and I formed a bad relationship with it after shouting at it and now we're not talking. I have had little contact with humans these past 2 weeks. My head also joined forces with my heart and I've had a constant headache for 2 weeks. The little people keep banging filing cabinet drawers, putting on extra tubes to deal with everything, and they must all be on their period because they're not all getting along. It's been mayhem. And it all came to blows yesterday when there must have been a massacre in my brain because I had a massive nosebleed. I did look like a serial killer though, with blood all over my hands, so that was fun.

Today? I don't have a headache. I haven't had a nosebleed. My heart's just chilling. But my eye is swollen for no apparent reason. Maybe it's the graveyard for all those little people who died in the massacre yesterday, and it's getting full. My last exam is Psychology, and the topics include Stress and Abnormality. Ironic.

1 comment :

  1. Having a nosebleed and looking like a serial killer is like stealing flour from Sainsbury's to feel like you're in an action film, lol.