21 Mar 2010

Grandparents Part II

Yesterday was another day of old people. A day of old people making me laugh hysterically inside and going "note to self: blog that." Yes we went to my Nan and Grandad's. You saw a snippet of la vie de mes grandparents last month, but you haven't heard anything yet.

This time my Nan's sister and her husband (my great aunt and uncle) were also there to contribute some quips and not-meant-to-be-but-ended-up-bloody-hilarious remarks.
As soon as we arrived, they all pounced (shuffled over) to ask the normal numerous amount of questions. For example. How's school? How are your friends? Do you have a boyfriend yet? You get the gist. I swerved said questions with "Hahahaha...err...NAN YOU WERE IN HEAT MAGAZINE!" It's true. She was.

I then was forced to show them all my prom dress. So I did. And they all loved it. And I got touched up by them all feeling my whole body. Interesting.
"Oh it's just like that prom scene in Grease isn't it Rene."
"...I've never seen Grease..."
She is 77. And she's never seen Grease. I may disown her as my great-auntie.
The conversation then turned to the accessories I was going to wear including my Swarovski prized possession necklace.
"I told you about that Swarovski shop they've just opened in Romford didn't I? Bit bloody posh for Romford init." I love having a Nan from London. She's like the Catherine Tate Nan.
"The dress colour is like that suit I wore after your wedding init Rene. Do you remember it?"
"Course I bloody remember it, you gave it to me after cos you got bored of it."
"...Oh yeah that's right."
I got changed PDQ and returned to the kitchen to find my Nan bashing the bottom of some talc trying to get it out. Rene helping. I had to step in for their own safety. "You haven't taken the cover off Nan you doughnut."

It was then roast time. Although at my Nan's it should be called shove-as-much-food-in-your-belly-then-i'll-give-you-more time. I didn't eat the night before to suffice this.
"Cor it's hot in here I'm gonna need to take my cardigan off." exclaimed my Uncle, to which Rene proceeded to try and hum that sexy stripping music, but ended up humming the American national anthem. I'm sure my Uncle is a credit to all Americans. *shrugs*

"RIGHT who wants plum cumble?" Yes, she said CUMble. That did it for me. I had to run and hide in the toilet to laugh and laugh and laugh some more.

Conversation turned to Asda. "The last time we went there was to buy the monkeys. *toddles off mumbling to self*" We left it at that.

Later that night we were talking about washing machines when my Nan came out with "I want just one knob, not 6, just one I can twist and make it work." Jesus Christ I love her.

And then my Nan did something that should never happen. She had information on a new Stephanie Meyer book that I knew nothing about. How the eff did that happen? She knew something I didn't know.

My Grandparents continue to astound me. As you were. X

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